LaVerne:

Welcome to Brilliant in 20 a podcast from Scoop News Group and Emerald One where we celebrate the unique brilliance of today’s leaders and share their experiences with you in just 20 minutes My guest today is Helene Lerner, the founder of Women Working dot com. She and her team created daily digital content for women working, providing valuable information and opportunities for connection to over 18 million social media followers. She’s a television host, Emmy Award winning executive producer, workplace consultant and prolific author of 13 books, including The Confidence Myth Why Women Undervalue Their Skills and How to Get Over It and in Her Power, Reclaiming Your Authentic Self. If you have not read these books, I highly, highly, highly recommend them.

She began her career as a teacher, later working her way through the management ranks of The New York Times and as CEO Creative Expansions Inc, a multimedia company. Her mission is to empower women and girls. I can’t tell you how thrilled we are to have Helene with us today.  Well, Helene, my friend, I love saying that because that’s exactly who you are. Welcome to Brilliant in 20. I am so happy you were able to attend with me today and just be here and bring your spirit and your powerhouse lifestyle and image to Brilliant in 20.

Your schedule is nonstop so you know I just want appreciate the time but to I don’t know how you do it. You know, your achievements are endless. You’re still getting it done. You’re just publishing another book. I’m sure you’ve been asked this before, but tell me, how do you do it and look fabulous at the same time?

Helene:

First of all, you’re the best. And that’s why I am on this. And I have known you for how long? LaVerne? Well, over 25 years, at least. And what I’ve always loved about you is that you have a big heart. Not only are you smart, but it’s when we talk about needing leaders who lead from the head and the heart. This is LaVerne. And that’s why I’m on today.

So how do I do it? Someone once asked me, how do I do it? The truth is, it’s a lot of work.  In order to keep a positive attitude in this crazy world we’re living in today. It is a lot of work. I get up early in the morning and I also live in New York City, which is also a lot of work to keep up. And so what I do is I meditate in the morning. I’m very grateful that I have a health club and I do water aerobics every morning, even for 15 minutes. My body is in good shape. I talk to people. I will vent if I’m frustrated, I will be of service to people that I know. And then I start my day. At the end of the day, I think out sometimes and just do very mindless things. But I am grateful for the most part throughout the day. I’m grateful that I’m alive, that I’m well, that hopefully I have an impact in what I’m doing. And as I was speaking with you and I know some of the questions you’re going to ask me, this is not the time to keep quiet in the world. I believe that women and men…particularly I deal, mostly with women, have great insight.

We know what’s needed. And when you’ve picked an issue and you know what’s needed. Yes, we have fear. What’s going to happen if I say what I’m going to say and all of that kind of stuff. But it’s not okay to keep quiet. Your resourcefulness is needed now. So what I always say, and I say it in my book Confidence Booster, How to Boost Confidence, Set Boundaries and Practice Self-care in the Changing Work World. What I say is being of service trumps fear.

So LaVerne, you were asking another question, I think of, you know, what can women in corporate life, women in government, women in business What can they learn from all of this? Yeah. So I see in the last two years with COVID because I have a following of 19 million, what I’m seeing is we’re exhausted. People are exhausted around the world. I don’t care if you had a little bit of a vacation, like I took a few days off a few weeks ago with childcare, elder care, work responsibilities, and now dealing with the inhumanity of what’s going on in the Ukraine. It’s a lot it’s a lot on our psyche. So what I say to people is you can expect a lot of no’s. I wish it wasn’t this way. I wish we didn’t have to deal with this. But what I also say is you get the No, no, no, no, no. Yes. No, no, no, no. Yes. It’s almost like a jack in the box.

You’ve got to keep putting yourself out there. If you have to vent with some friends, vent with some friends. But then get back on the horse and put the big girl panties on. That’s what’s needed. And that will help develop those inner muscles so you can help someone else.

LaVerne:

Helene I love that. And I know this all to be true about you. The way that you walk in gratitude and the way that you have dusted me off and said, You got this. You know, if I know anybody who has it, you have it. So do you. Do you, LaVerne. Get back up and do you. And so…

Helene:

Cause the world needs you. Bottom line. Bottom line, the world needs us now. Every. Who was it? Was it Gandhi who said, you know, every individual counts what we say be the change that is needed. It’s very important now.

LaVerne:

Yeah, no, I appreciate it. And frankly, your motivation is what people need some time just to have the courage, right? To be themselves, to say what they mean, to to say what they really believe. Because you hit it on a net. The head. Many times you want to say things be like, uh oh, if I say that, what will happen? Maybe some good things will happen. I think that’s what you’re saying. Maybe some good things will happen.

Helene:

And not maybe. If you have it in you and you’ve picked it as an issue and it just keeps coming up. It has to be said and it has to be said by you. And I’m going to read something from Confidence Booster because I’m not going to go into a lot of explanation, but I had some powerful energy coming through me. So it wasn’t just me. writing this book. Here’s here’s what I’m going to say.

One of the first the second part of the book, the first part of the book is Five Steps. And I’ve done this book because I’ve been giving viral workshops during the COVID period to thousands of people. And the exhaustion, the depletion and confidence I got that this was needed. So I have a five step program to boosting your confidence and also setting the boundaries and practicing self-care because as you know, if we’re on the airplane, we got to put the mask on ourselves first. Yes. Before our kids! Before our work! So we got to practice that self-care. But the first and second part of the book is filled with since I have 19 million people following me, we look at what’s viral and what isn’t. And many of the things I’ve put in the second part of the book are viral topics. And I love this one. It’s about leadership. And it says, “Today I choose to think bigger about what I can achieve. I choose to lead. live as a leader and create impact. And then on the second page, I have action steps and also to ask yourself some questions as well as a quote and this quote is from me. A strong woman knows that fear is part of the journey, but her commitment to making a difference is greater. Her motto: Being of service trumps fear and the questions to ask yourself is, why not me? And who knows better? We tell our loved ones that but we got to tell everyone that the action step is to speak up now. As I said, there’s an immediacy now in the world.

LaVerne:

I love it. I love it. You know, you’re driven to empower women and girls. You live the lifestyle. You don’t just talk it, you live it. But we all know sometimes girls aren’t real nice to girls. So what motivated you to focus on that? Because that power is the thing that’s motivating many people to get back up and keep running and it keeps you running. But what motivation drove you to really do that?

Helene:

I think Not I think, I know that what’s always interested me, whether it be in my Emmy Award winning television shows that were on public television or the books that I write or the 19 million followers on social media, my website women working dot com with always What’s always interested me is obstacles and how we move through obstacles. It ain’t easy. None of it’s easy, especially now. What gives us the strength and the power to move through it? And LaVerne, you’ve been a testimony. You’ve gone through so many things in your life and you’ve empowered so many people. So have I. Many years ago, I was obese. I had a lot of weight on me that shouldn’t have been on me. I reached out, I got group support and I took the weight off. And I think keeping it off for many decades now, group support, motivation, not stopping moving forward, having impact. That’s…you’re right, I am driven, but it’s not a crazy drive. It’s a drive that comes from a deep place within me that I’ve learned some things. And if I can give it to someone else and they like a pebble in the water, can give it to someone else and give it to someone else. Then we’re better. We’re all better for it.

LaVerne:

We’re all better for it. Yeah, I agree with you. You know, it’s interesting, as people sometimes they look at you, they look at the clothes you wear, the places you live, and they think, oh, she has everything done for her everything’s great, right? Little did they know you had to work through something. You had to overcome a lot to make it happen. And, you know, setbacks sometimes can happen. You know, tell us tell us about a lesson that everybody can take away from a setback and how you come back from that.

Helene:

Oh, I can’t do anything alone. If people look at me and say, well, she’s got it. And she was probably born with a silver spoon in her mouth, that ain’t true. What I realize, though, is if I have a deeper commitment to keep going, that is very helpful when I think of how it could impact someone else. So even if I get that. No, no, no. What keeps me going for that “Yes” Is when I call up my friend and say, I don’t know how I’m going to do it today. I got too many no’s yesterday. She reminds me, she says, Keep going, Helene. You have important things to give. So we all need those friends, that network, those what I call action buddies, whoever that support us. And I can do it for the other person too. So when I’m have those kind of what I call hanging on days, it’s very important not to keep it to myself, to give myself permission to vent a little bit and then get on my pony again and just keep going. Keep going. And then you get that “Yes”

LaVerne:

Would you say that having that special person in your life that you can always sort of vent to is a critical factor? Because with this time of pandemic, some people have become more distant from each other. They don’t have that that person, that keeping that person, either through phone or contact is so important.

Helene:

I think if you have a special person who you’ve had history with, that’s great. But you really need that because we all need help these days. So if there’s someone that you see you’ve helped in the past or someone that you see might need some help like you, you can reach out to them and say, You know what? If we get together and maybe talk about this goal that you have or this goal that I have, you know, maybe we can combine resources and make it happen. It’s wonderful if you have someone for years, but it doesn’t have to be. I mean, COVID, LaVerne. Many of us for the first few months, we weren’t touching other people. There was no hugging going on. There was you know, it was very, very hard. So I think people need closeness and connection. Everyone not just an elite few, we all need it. So why not reach out to someone who you think might be supportive and see if you can help that person as well?

LaVerne:

I love that. I love that the reach out goes either way, right? Not when you need it or when someone else might need it. And we have to be there for each other. You know Helene, before you go, I have one more question, and I hope that you’ll let me have a little bit more of that beautiful time of yours. But I love a bit you know your daily environment, you talk about how you get up. You talked about you working out and being very committed to meditation and frankly, habits and good habits that have allowed you to sustain yourself. But I know that you have a working desk in that beautiful apartment. Hmm. Let me to tell me something. What’s on your desk right now?

Helene:

Oh, no. It’s beautiful. I have. If you could see it. I have. I have a money plant that’s prospering incredibly. I have another plant. My son helped me set this up. I have a rubber plant on the window. Every. See, here’s. Here’s the thing. I always hated discipline. I said oh no, I don’t want to be disciplined. And discipline is my friend. So if my space is cluttered, my mind is cluttered. So, you know, what is it? Marie Kondo and I have a video on YouTube about letting go of clutter because I never thought I was a clutterer until I opened up my closet and I saw a hundred VHS tapes. No one uses VHS tapes! And I was afraid to let that go. And really why I was holding on is it was some of my achievements were on VHS tapes. And when I realized when I actually started to let go and declutter and keep my space clean and the discipline that goes with it, and it was just 15 minutes a day. It wasn’t like I jumped in and it was so… but when I started to do that, I realized that what I was thinking was in those tapes is in me. In me. And what happens is I was letting go and creating space for new good to come into my life.

LaVerne:

Wow. Well, you know what? You know, I can never underestimate you because you always more than exceeded my expectations. Helen, you are a wonder. A wonder kind of blessing to this earth, and certainly a blessing to me and to the Emerald One team. I just thank you so much for being here to bring your presence and continuing to bless womankind and mankind with your positive outlook, with your can do attitude, with your willingness to love nature, but also to love yourself and to pass that on to the rest of us. Thank you, my friend.

Helene:

Thank you, sweetie. Take good care.

LaVerne:

Thank you.